4 Steps to Take If Your Relationship is Suffering
Relationships suffer when you end up going over the same points of dispute and never resolving anything. It gets frustrating and a good relationship can break down surprisingly quickly. However, don’t despair. There are several ways to work towards making your relationship better and here are just four of them.
Figure Out the Main Sources of Conflict
Just like in a good movie, people bounce off each other when there’s a conflict. While conflicts between characters make a romantic movie more interesting, for couples, the conflicts can drive them apart.
What are the conflicts in your relationship right now? Do you have issues that keep coming up around what each other wants from the partnership and complaints about what they’re not getting? Sit down and talk in a calm voice with your better half to discover what the conflicts are and what’s really behind them. This way, both of you can see how the conflict can be resolved amicably.
Is It a Fundamental Difference in Values?
Sometimes couples come from different walks of life or have been brought up with a completely different set of values. The right way to behave or think about a situation might be obvious to your partner while you see things completely differently. Your life experiences are likely to have colored the way you see the world, what you want from a relationship and the values you hold dear. Your partner likely has totally different life experiences, upbringing and values.
Values are important because they frame how a situation is viewed. One set of behaviors might be expected by you, but is not obvious to your partner. You may fundamentally disagree on certain topics and perhaps this is driving a wedge between you. When fundamental differences cannot be resolved satisfactorily, you’ll both need to accept them.
Are You Listening, But Not Hearing the Same Conversation?
People usually talk too much and listen too little. This is the same in relationships. We all want to be heard, but are we really listening to what are partner is communicating to us? Remember, much of communication is visual with body language being the main conduit rather than the spoken word. A knowing glance, a worried look. Quite often, these all say more than words.
Make it a point to talk less. Sit quietly and listen to your partner without interrupting them. Hear them and let them feel heard. It makes a big difference to them knowing that you care.
Get Couples Counselling to Save or Improve Your Relationship
Couples counselling is a useful tool to help two people rediscover each other or to resolve longstanding issues. Having an experienced, knowledgeable third-party to help couples improve their understanding and reach better levels of intimacy is a valuable process.
For couples in the New Jersey area, familypsychnj.com offers therapy sessions for couples along with sessions for individuals when their partner doesn’t yet wish to participate.
Relationships need work. They don’t operate on auto-pilot. Tending to it and mending any hurt feelings is important to maintain a happy, healthy loving relationship with your partner.