Heading towards first time sex with a new partner

New relationships are always fun – but don’t let the excitement go to your head. Use condoms, be respectful in bed, and keep it fresh always.

There’s nothing quite like a new romantic relationship to add some zing to your life. Your heart beats faster every time you think of them, you think up new ways to surprise and amuse them. It’s going really well, and you enjoy each other’s company immensely.

But now the relationship is steadily heading into the next exciting phase – the two of are about to have sex. You are nervous and excited at the same time – so many things can go wrong, and you want it to be absolutely perfect!

Sex with a new partner…

You’ve gone from the initial stages of texting and late-night phone calls, to movies and dinners. After a series of dates, things are moving in the right direction and are inevitably headed towards sex. You may not have mentioned it explicitly, but the promise of sex hangs in the air every time there is a chance touch, or when you hug each other good night, or send flirty texts during the day.

So now that the time has come to have sex with your partner for the first time, you want it to be extra special. After all, the two of you will have first time sex with each other only once in your lives, so it needs to have an element of magic to it.

Having truly memorable sex for the first time, and the times that follow, takes a little more than knowing the right moves. It also needs two willing partners, and both must also be willing to practice safe sex. Let it happen naturally, as the next logical step in the relationship. Nothing ruins sex more than when it is coerced or performed under pressure because one or both the partners feel that ‘it should happen now’. There is no right or wrong time to have sex for the first time – when it has to happen, both will know!

  • Besides, it helps to be respectful and accommodating of each other’s wishes. While one may want to have sex, the other may want to wait still more. A discussion on the matter can allow the two of you to assess where each of you stands in the relationship. Talking about it will remove any confusion or ambiguity. But draw the line at either of you not wanting to use condoms during sex – the use of condoms cannot be negotiable.
  • When and where to have sex are also important considerations. You don’t want to be interrupted midway or disturbed for any reason. Most couples take a short holiday to a nearby spot, so that they can be in each other’s company with complete privacy. You can combine the break with seeing a new place together as also having sex in an exciting new setting.
  • Ask beforehand if your partner would like you to keep anything in mind about the act. If you use sex toys, don’t spring them on your partner without telling them, and don’t force them to use the toy if they don’t want to. To be on the safe side, just take things slowly and be gentle with each other. You have a lot of time to try kinky stuff later on!
  • Make sure you use a condom that enhances pleasure for both. Durex has a range of condoms to suit different needs – try between ribbed and dotted, or thin condoms (to give the most skin-on-skin touch possible) or another variety. Condoms can greatly enhance your pleasure during the act, and you can combine water-based lube with them for added comfort.
  • Many women with active sex lives are on some form of birth control. Thus, the chances of an unwanted pregnancy taking place are negligible. However, if there is no regular birth control being practiced, then a condom is necessary during sex to prevent pregnancies and the spread of STDs.

Taking it from there…

You will settle into a comfortable rhythm after the first few times you’ve had sex. The initial days of a sexual relationship are all about exploring each other’s bodies and learning what turns them on and what doesn’t. But don’t let your sex life settle into a rut – keep it fresh by trying new positions, getting new condoms and lubes, or experimenting with sex toys. Spicing up your bedroom activities will keep the spark alive in your relationship for years to come. You can even take up shared activities together – join an exercise class, or go swimming together, or take up a hobby that lets you spend time in each other’s company.